Most of us got used to the zombies but I never did. They stink. That’s the main thing. They stink. Bad. Nothing sucks more than coming across a large group of them. I nearly lose my lunch every time.
Most of them had been rounded up, but there were new zombies made every day. I was sure of it. We had figured out it was a disease that was spread through their bite. We had vaccines now, but no cures.
If the Zombie War wasn’t bad enough, the Anti-Vaxxers lost their mind when the CDC announced they had a vaccine and it got even worse when the government made the Zombie Vaccine mandatory.
There are still bands of unvaccinated humans who die and come back from the dead and now here I am between my car and zombie slowly shackling toward me. His eyes as dull as marbles and his walk as slow as the meeting I just got out of.
I dug around in my purse for something I could use to shoo the creature away. It was a recent death, I could tell from the way it didn’t smell like an outhouse rotting away in the sun on the last day of Burning Man.
“Come on,” I said. I had pepper spray, but I didn’t want to spray it in the parking garage. It would be likely to do more damage to me than the zombie.
We were supposed to report them when we saw them. Call it in like it was a stray dog running around.
I unlocked my car with the fab and walked around the front of my car, squeezing between the bumper and the wall of the parking garage. The zombie mostly followed me with his eyes as I moved, though he did lose me momentarily. Once my car was between us I opened the passenger door and crawled through to the driver’s seat, my ass high in the air.
“This is undignified.” I thought as I imagined I was flashing my panties to anyone behind me as I crawled.
Once I sat and straightened up my clothes, I leaned across and slammed the door.
The zombie walked up to the cry and began grasping at me. He paid no mind to the barrier between us. He was undeterred by the window.
“Stupid fucking zombie,” I said and then opened the car door, knocking him to the ground.
I exhaled deeply as I shut the door.
“The day can only go up from here,” I said.
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